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The big award shows – the Emmys, the Oscars, etc. – crack me up. Though they are ideally celebrating the accomplishments and work of artists, they start the evening with the superficial, “who are you wearing?”

All the fanfare about who is wearing whose gowns and tuxes, who looks amazing and who will be called out by the fashion police (thank you Joan Rivers). Entire shows, newspaper articles and magazine covers are dedicated to who looks marvelous and who doesn’t. In fact, talking with many people, they watch for this more than for the celebration of talent.

The outside is never more valuable than inside.

When we were kids and we would complain about something on our “exterior” – long arms, Italian nose, unruly hair – Mom would take us to the mirror and tell us, “Look deeper. What do you see underneath the exterior? What talents, strengths and passions are part of the deeper and true you? What makes you unique, amazing – awesome? What are you the best at and how can you bring this into your life and your world?”

The outside is the container for what really matters – our gold – who we are and what gifts we have. In that tone, here are two of the stanzas from my new poem, You’re Great and You’re Awesome, Just As You Are (to be released soon):

For greatness is not in brown hair or blond. 

Greatness is not in how our words sound.

Greatness is not on our outside – our skin.

Greatness, true greatness, always happens within.

We just can’t know how great you can become

By looking at hair color. That’s crazy, that’s dumb.

Down deep we’re amazing and awesome and bold.

Down deep is our value, our treasure, our gold.”

 We can’t see the inside by only looking at the outside. The only way to connect to what really matters about ourselves is to discover what is on the inside. We must look deeper. What gifts and abilities are unique to us? What passions, interests and values define the TrueYou, not the You-On-View?

It is wonderful to take time on our outward appearance. After all, this is how we introduce ourselves to the world.  However, for every minute we spend on the exterior, we should spend ten times that on the interior – discovering our unique abilities and developing our personal inventory of talents, strengths and passions. These are what we will use to make it through life – to make great decisions that fit who we are and how we can connect our best to the world.

So, who are you wearing? Why, you of course. What is your personal style that shares your interior with the world? Know what makes you unique and amazing. Then wear that so the TrueYou is the one you constantly share with the world. As the poem says, Greatness, true greatness, always happens within.

Good news should always be share and knowing your inventory of your unique amazing abilities is really good news. Please share this with someone who can benefit from it. And contact me to find out how coaching and the tools on the Greateness Zone can help you discover your TrueYou so you can make great work and life decisions.

Each day we make hundreds of decisions. How do we make great ones? Is there a formula or are we really at the mercy of a changing world and statistics – that some decisions will be good and others won’t.

Though there is no way to ensure that we always choose wisely, we can improve our success with our decisions by always making them from our greatness zone. Here is what I mean.

To be in your greatness zone means you know what you are good at, what you are passionate about and what matters to you and you use this information when making your decisions. When you approach all of your decisions from this place – you choose more wisely and more accurately – you make better choices based on the real and best you. You set yourself up for success in your decisions because they are based on great self-knowledge.

So many of us try to copy others. We want to look and act like them – wear what they wear, look how they look, drive what they drive, study what they study. The amount of daily marketing we are exposed to is staggering. Commercials tell us what we should eat, what beauty is, what hip and cool is – it provides a road of how to do life that that many of us blindly follow. We make decisions based on what others tell us, rarely checking in on what we think, what we do well, what we are passionate about and what we want for our lives. We can’t possibly choose wisely if we use others’ definitions of greatness and meaningfulness instead of our own.

It doesn’t have to be this way. By developing clarity about who we are and what we want – what we are good at, passionate about and what matters to us – and making all decisions from this place – we start to make wiser choices for ourselves about all aspects of life.

Consider these life decision situations. How would you make great decisions in each?

Your friends are all planning to stay around the city or town they grew up in after high school. They don’t want you to break up their tight group of friends. Your plan was to go away to college and study something that your friends have told you is a waste of time. How do you make a good decision from your Greatness Zone (what are you good at, passionate about AND what matters to you)?

Your boss wants to promote you to the next role at your company. It is a role that you are good at but you have no passion for, and it will force you to travel and have less time with your family. How do you make a good decision from your Greatness Zone (what are you good at, passionate about AND what matters to you)?

Your family grew up with a particular faith. This faith, however, doesn’t seem to expand your understanding of your world and your place in it. In fact, you find this faith small and judgmental. How do you make a good decision about what you believe from your Greatness Zone (what are you good at, passionate about AND what matters to you)?

At every moment in our days we make decisions. When we are clear about ourselves – what we are good at, passionate about and what matters to us – we make decisions from our greatness zone. These decisions allow us to bring our best to each thing we decide and do; we intentionally choose things that allow us to show up more significantly, authentically and powerfully in our world.

One of my favorite quotes is from Pablo Picassso. He says, “The meaning of life is to find your gift; the purpose of life is to give it away.” The meaning of life is to discover and know yourself and what makes you unique, talented, passionate and excited (discover your greatness zone). The purpose of life is to bring and deliver that “you” – the talented, excited, passionate and clear you – to all you do to live a life you love and make a difference in your world.

How do you make great decisions in life?

Great news should always be shared and learning how to make decisions from your greatness zone is great news. Please share this with someone who can benefit from it. And contact me to learn how Greatness Coaching and the tools, books and programs at The Greatness Zone can help you discover and live in your greatness zone, so that your life decisions reflect the true and amazing you.

My anniversary was this past weekend. I have had many years with my partner – one of the world’s best people. There are people who are given to us in life that have an epic impact on the quality of our lives. They change our perspective about what life is and all that it can be.

In short, they make life great.

This doesn’t happen by chance, but instead by intention. So here is what I have learned that he and others, who care intently, emotionally and deeply, do for the important people in their lives:

1. They let you be who you are.
2. They hold you to your word.
3. They know how to communicate with you easily and effectively.
4. They help you see possibilities everywhere.
5. They remember your important details.
6. They care more about you than themselves.
7. They think you are great even when you don’t think you are (sometimes the most important time).
8. They have consistently high expectations of you.
9. They feel they never have enough time with you.
10. They want you to be right next to them as often as possible.

We are each blessed with amazing people in our lives – sometimes partners, spouses, family members, work associates or friends. Amazing people can wear any hat and have any identity. What makes them so important is that they have such a positive impact on our lives. And though the news and media are quick to show the mean and selfish sides of people, we are actually surrounded by great people – if we choose to tune in to them.

As a coach, I regularly ask my clients, “How do you want to show up?” Regardless of what the event is, it’s an important question to ask. I can also ask the same when it comes to relationships – how do you want to show up as a partner, spouse, friend, sibling or parent? What do you insist on from yourself in your side of the relationship – without any expectation of return? In this selfless approach, we see all that we are capable of when we focus on being the giver. Sometimes we get something in return, and if not, we still showed up true, authentic, loving and present. We showed up human.

As Jeff and I celebrate another year, full of both easy and difficult times, successes and challenges (in other words, life), I am reminded of how great it is to go through life with people who care about us as much as we care about them. We are always on the same side, trying to celebrate life’s wins and deal with its sorrows. We are life teammates, looking for opportunities to do great things and live great lives. So, look for, find and celebrate everyone and everything important in your life. Our relationships are the icing on the cake of life.

Great news should always be shared and being part of powerful and meaningful relationships is really good news. Please share this with someone who can benefit from it. And review the tools and programs on The Greatness Zone website to help you be more intentional in your relationships with others and with your own life. You choose how you show up for the people and to the events of your life.

I was walking the dog last night and was struck by how it has become just another task for me, another line item on my to do list. Normally, walking the dog means we get right to business; I still have so many things I want to do before locking up and turning out the lights. But last night was different. There was a clear night sky with a beautiful crescent moon, and there was something between a breeze and a wind, a warm, steady flow that moved the palms and trees in almost a melodic way. The jasmine and ylang-ylang trees in the neighborhood were exceptionally fragrant and there was a calming quiet.

In that moment, I was struck by the “here and now.” There were so many sounds and smells, the sky seemed so big and the wind was so warm; everything around me was teeming with information for my senses. Sight, hearing, smell, touch and even taste were providing information about the salty warm, melodic, fragrant night air. For the first time in a long time I was really present during my walk with the dog.

I know I have a tendency to move quickly through the things I add to my to do list. I was raised in a family of doers – to do lists are an important part of my identity. I come from a productive, performance family that spent time on New Year’s resolutions, weekend chore lists and action plans for life. Keep moving. Keep learning. Keep checking things off the list. This is something I’m really good at, just ask anyone in my family. They know I live by my lists.

But that doesn’t mean I need to just get things done. What I realized on that beautiful Florida evening was that each of my tasks could be an event in and of itself.

Right here, right now is amazing. Being in the moment is the greatest gift we are given, and it is the greatest gift we can give. To be present in this moment allows us to see and experience everything going on in our world. Our five senses become our connection to the majesty of an amazing planet, where we connect with thousands of years of history, wonder, dreams and adventures, as well as the other 7 billion people on the planet. There is something magical about this. This is greatness in its best form.

When we are present, we can connect with others in a way unlike any other. Instead of trying to do seven things at once, focus intently on another person. This not only allows you to connect with them, but also shows them that they are valuable and important.

So when your kids want to talk, put things down and go spend time with them. When your employees want to share an idea with you, don’t sort through emails. When your spouse or partner is sharing a story about his day, go sit next to him and take it all in. The checklist will still be there, there will always be something else that needs to get done. But in this moment, by being right here, right now, you connect with your world in a more profound way. You connect with others in a more sincere way. The quality of your life, and theirs, is changed.

Life, I am slowly learning, is not about having a checklist. Rather, it is about enjoying the things we put on that list. Don’t be in a rush to get things done. Love everything you do and make enjoying each task just as important as getting it done.

How will you choose to use your five senses to be more present in each event and in the process, be right here, right now?

Great news should always be shared and knowing how to be fully present in an amazing world is really great news. Please share this with someone who can benefit from it. And contact me to learn how our Greatness Zone programs and Greatness Coaching have tools to help you become more present and mindful, to be more connected to each moment of your life.

I was on the phone recently with a good friend. Somehow we got talking about dreams and how unique our dreams are to us. We weren’t talking about REM cycle dreams; we were talking about our life dreams – what we want for our lives and how we want our lives to be.

I’ll admit that I am a dreamer – always thinking of what comes next, how things could be and what would make life even better. I don’t see this as not being content. Rather, I see it as supporting a view of a limitless world – a world where whatever we can imagine, we can consider. And if we consider it, we may just be able to make it happen.

Our dreams are our power source – they not only help us get things done, but dreaming creates an expansive view of our lives. Our dreams are unique to us. This is intentional, says author of Infinite Possibilities, Mike Dooley. “ We have different dreams for a reason: to maximize the chances of us having the kind of adventures that will enrich us the most. We’re not all born wanting to be doctors, we’re not all born wanting to be beautiful, and, as hard as this may seem to believe, we’re not all born wanting to live easy cushy lives. No two people want the exact same things.”

Our dreams are such an important part of who we are and who we can become. In our dreams, we impose few, if any, limitations. We tune out the loud and judging voices of others and get to have life our way. We hang on to the dreams we love and let the others go – kind of a ‘life dry-run’ – seeing the options we have in life and trying them out in our minds before we choose to live or not live them.

For many of us, making time for dreaming may seem like just another thing on our to do list. But consider these types of dreaming that are not only already part of our day, but are helping us show up more amazing each day:

• Day dreaming – take dream breaks throughout the day— take a walk outside during your lunch break; reconnect wherever your mind wants to wander. Sit with what it sends your way.

• Work dreaming – great companies always encourage employee dreaming. They build in time for employees to just imagine, consider and be; this gives them the space to consider new things and image possibilities that would otherwise not had the ability to come forward.

• You dreaming – spend time thinking about having your amazing life and making the impact you want.

• Others dreaming – spend time focusing on the people you love and imagine all the ways to connect with them.

• Food dreaming – I had to put this in; it’s my favorite type of dreaming. Or, I could call it ‘pasta dreaming.’ Spend time imagining what flavors and ingredients go together. Imagine time at the table enjoying your favorite foods.

Dreaming –  it does a body and a life good. It creates options never previously considered. It creates new ideas, new businesses, new pasta dishes, better relationships… the list is endless. Give yourself time and permission to dream, Be a better dreamer.

Good news should always be shared and giving yourself the permission and time to dream is good news. Please share this with someone who can benefit from it. And contact me to learn how greatness coaching and the Greatness Zone programs can encourage greater thinking and dreaming in all areas of your life.