Is Your Life Too Noisy?
Written by: | Sunday, March 11th, 2012
Yack. Opinions. Judgments. Nosie. Blah, blah, blah….
There is not shortage of people telling us what to do, how to dress, what to eat, who to be, who to marry, where to live. This constant yack of “guidance” is a by-product of a technology age. Information moves so quickly and there so much of it available that none of us are left with any “space” – any quiet time - to think. There is always someone ready to do our thinking for us.
Well, I am not sure about you, but giving away my thinking is something I have no intention of doing… any more. There were many points in my life where I let others make decisions for me, define me and dictate what directions were right for me. And I ended up in some places that were right for others, not for me. Tough lesson.
I have come to realize that the greatest gift I have in life is that I have both the ability and responsibility to invent my life. I choose how it should develop, who I become, what I do, who I love, where I live, and on and on… This can happen only if I can start to quiet some of the loud other voices that insist on dictating how life should be. Only then can it be quiet enough for me to start to hear my own voice – the one that knows what is right for me – the one that knows what matters to me.
I have some clients and some family members who are struggling with this at this exact moment. Here is some of what I share with them to create the space – the quiet – so they can connect to what is important.
1. Create some Internal Quiet. Our brains have learned to run everything – they never seem to stop offering commentary (which they get from the outside world). Getting some internal quiet requires some practice and discipline. The best place to start is with some of today’s great meditation tools. (Check for resources by Jon Kabat-Zinn and Eckhart Tolle). By learning to create some internal quiet, you start to control your automatic internal dialog. In the moment of quiet, focus on what matters to you. Start to see the things in life that make a great life for you. When you create the internal quiet, you get to be honest with what really matters to you – and to develop the courage to tell others. You can’t invent a life you love if you don’t know or can’t define what matters to you. And there is no space for processing when your brain is too distracted with others’ opinions.
2. Create some External Quiet. We choose how much of the external world we let into our world. Do you have, or create, a place where things are quiet – a walk on a beach, through the woods, in a park? Do you fill each moment with music, radio, commentary, texting, calling, etc.? Allow yourself at least 30 minutes a day of a “no-noise” environment. Notice that the only way you can work on internal quiet is to be in an environment of external quiet.
The more noise we add to our lives, the less space we make to consider new things – our things. The sooner we find thevolume control, the sooner we can start to turn down the volume of others to allow for the quiet to hear our own voice. Only then can we think, dream, consider, invent and discover who we really are.
Good news should always be shared and learning how to allow for the space to hear our own internal thoughts, needs and values is very good news. Please share this with someone whose life is too noisy. And contact me to learn more of how these Greatness Coaching techniques can help you better invent your best life.